Betty-Ann's Both Sides Blog

Fathers Make The World Better

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Fathers make the world better so find yourself a council of Dads. I was struck with this idea when reading about a man in New York who was diagnosed with cancer. Concerned his six-year old twin daughters would grow up without a father he recruited a number of friends to assume that role.

Each man represented a different phase of his life and each offered a unique perspective. He knew that would offer his daughters a true variety of experiences. The girls quickly figured it out as well and dubbed one “Nature Dad” and another “Travel Dad”. You won’t be surprised to know that “Travel Dad” advised the girls to “always be a traveler, not a tourist”.

Ultimately this man lived and there was no need for the extended network of Dads but they decided to carry it on believing that “you can never have too many Dads in your life”. This is a magnificent idea as one can never have too many mentors either! And fathers are important mentors.

Research shows that girls who have a good relationship with their fathers have a better sense of themselves and more successful marriages. They are more rounded and have better physical and emotional health. Those who don’t, have more trouble establishing an identity and are more likely to take drugs.

Research also shows that women who have mentors have higher pay, more promotions and have greater job satisfaction. So find yourself some male mentors and consider them a council of Dads. Turn to them for advice and wisdom. You’ll achieve more because you’ll not only get more guidance, feedback and support, you won’t want to let your “Dads” down. It is amazing how much harder we will try for someone else than for ourselves alone.

A council of Dads could be considered a group of tribal elders. Each has a skill or area of expertise which is valuable to you and your decision-making process. Find Dads who meet your individual needs- maybe someone good at small “p” politics, another who will challenge you to take a risk and another who will offer encouragement. This diversity of opinions can be the added impetus to move your business and your life forward.

Additionally, your council of Dads can teach you about the attributes of Masculine Energy, which will help you navigate our organizational systems which were designed by men, for men. They will teach you how to banter, which is how men communicate with one another. Maybe they will insist you ask for a raise- something men find easier than women. And they may advise you to be more unemotional, something women need to be reminded of from time to time.

Men are also well connected and hold the inside advantage. If you establish a father/daughter relationship with a man in a position of power he can share information with you, include you in meetings, speak up on your behalf, introduce you to his valuable networks and be sure your work is recognized. Find a successful women and I promise she will have had at least one man who has helped to pave her way. We are all better off with at least one Dad but the more the better!

I certainly benefited from a few Dads in my life. First there was my biological father who included me in his business from a young age. Discussing strategy and serving customers were skills I learned at his knee. They developed not only my confidence, they spurred a life long interest in entrepreneurship. And then there were all the male mentors who looked out for me at the office as only a father would. I am grateful to these men and know that as women we need our Dads so find a few today!

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