As the New Year rolls in, it’s common practice to make resolutions to improve our lives. In many cases we’re expressing our desire to make peace with weight, work, or wealth by losing pounds, hitting the gym, spending less, or finding work that provides more fulfillment.
Sometimes our resolutions elude us, and sometimes we have trouble maintaining what we’ve accomplished because we are out of balance. I believe we’ll see the most success in this regard when we develop our opposite and apply good Gender Physics. By accessing both our masculine and feminine energy equally we can align our actions with our heart’s desire, thus ensuring a solid footing for attaining our goals.
Those who haven’t developed their feminine will have trouble getting in touch with their feelings. This not only impairs their ability to form relationships, but also limits their ability to recognize what work, exercise, or other activities feed their soul. Their creativity and productivity will both be limited, and their internal drive will be misguided.
Meanwhile, those who haven’t developed their masculine will have trouble designing and implementing an action plan, which restricts their ability to focus on a goal. This lack of discernment makes it tough to set limits on, say, the amount of food to eat or money to spend. They will always be dependent on others, robbing them of the personal power that comes with self-sufficiency.
Balance allows us to make positive changes in life. Focusing on a goal takes masculine energy, but it’s the feminine energy that imbues that goal with meaning. Creating a real and lasting change in your spending, eating, or career comes from knowing who you are inside, and then using your masculine energy to direct a solution.
We live in a world dominated by masculine energy, so most of us – men and women alike – need to encourage our feminine energy. And we can do that by cultivating our sensuality*, which starts by being more mindful and present in our selves. Whereas masculine energy is primarily concerned with “doing,” feminine energy is focus above all on “being.” It’s important to let go of our preoccupation with doing things, and simply let ourselves “be.” (At the same time, people with an excess of feminine energy may need to do the opposite – move outside our contemplative selves and start taking action!)
To be more sensuous, start by taking some deep breaths to relax in your being. Then activate your senses:
1) Don’t just look, see. Pay attention to the details. To experience this further, remember your favorite sights and how you felt seeing them.
2) Don’t just hear, listen. Be truly present when someone else is speaking. Concentrate on what they are saying. Remember the most appealing sounds, and how it felt to hear them.
3) Don’t just eat, taste. Take time to savor the food and feel its texture on your tongue. What tastes do you love the most?
4) Don’t just touch, feel. Enjoy the stimulation that comes from using all those nerve endings in your lips, face, fingertips, and feet. What do you most like to touch, and why?
5) Don’t just smell, experience the aroma. Breathe deeply, absorb the smell, and take time to connect with it. What memories and feelings come with your favorite scent?
Masculine energy uses the senses, but feminine energy experiences them, taking things to a whole new level. By opening yourself to the feminine you’ll live in the moment and experience the world more fully; and you’ll be better balanced and able to make your New Year’s resolutions a reality. Which senses are you most open to experiencing in the fullest way possible?
*Thanks to Peggy Holt, Life Management Therapist at Canyon Ranch, who provided this great sensuality exercise which I found to be a perfect example of developing feminine energy.